As I was looking at the metrics report for this page I saw that somebody was searching for AGP2 and found I am Handheld. I instantly felt guilty for not having any info for the poor soul. What if they actually bought the machine expecting a fulfilling gaming experience? This would be akin to eating a pound of cheese and expecting a fulfilling bowel movement. Something had to be done! If you are looking for info on Advance Game Player 2 because you are considering buying one, you do not want one. Please inform the elderly that AGP2 sucks balls because some dip-shit codger is going to buy this piece of crap for their grandchild and it is a sad day when children think their grandparents are dickholes.
So what exactly is AGP2?
Well here is the totally accurate description that is provided by the product page on Amazon:
- 8 games with over 2,000 variations
- Auto Power off after 4 minutes of inactivity
- Sound on/off, pause function, LED on/off, backlit LCD
- Compact design, perfect for travel or to stow in a book bag
Here is some additional info as due diligence for writing a review of the AGP2:
AGP2 comes with 8 games spread across 4 carts. There could be even more games but I seriously doubt it since the back of the AGP2 has 4 slots on the back; three named storage and one labeled active. This is both convenient and totally stupid since all the games could easily fit on one cart or, even better yet, have been internal to the unit since nobody is ever going to try to find more games for it. The games include A TankGame, B StarBattle, C CarRacing II, D PinBall, E SnakeGame, F FillBrick, G CarRaceing III, and H HitBrick. I have no idea why there is no CarRacing I. Perhaps CarRacing I was deemed too low quality to be included?
I did manage to find a video of the AGP2 in action.
Ok, so I lied. The above video should however be included with the AGP2 on a DVD labeled “Video Manuel”. Other memes that could be used to best explain the level of suck of the AGP2 are Dancing Hamsters, Bananaphone, Dramatic Groundhog, Charlie Bit Me, and Nigerian Bankers.
If the above does not convince you not to buy the AGP2 I have made the following illustration of gameplay.
Convinced yet? No? I give up!!! Go ahead and buy one, moron!!!
AGP2 can be purchased from Amazon here: BUY AGP2 on Amazon.com