Pokémon Mini: very small and cute.

Pokémon Mini is very small. It is about the same size as an old school stopwatch, tamagotchi, or newborn kitten. It is in fact the smallest cartridge based system ever. This makes it very cute. Cute like a Jigglypuff on an Electabuzz (thems some Pokémons humor there). Sickeningly cute. The cartridges are like tiny little peppermint candies and the system itself like a disembodied kitty head. Not really in form or function but in cuteness. There were around a dozen games ever made for the tiny, cute system and most of them were never released in the US. Pokémon Mini was in fact only sold stateside at the Pokémon Center in New York City or from their online store. To reinforce the system’s comeliness, the system was sold in the following selection of adorable colors: Smoochum Purple, Whooper Blue, and Chikorita Green. The color names are so adorable, I want to lick the system just thinking about it! Maybe not the Chikorita Green system. Chikorita sounds vaguely like a skin disease to me.

My Pokémon Mini is Whooper Blue. A Whooper is Pokémon number 194. I can find no additional information about the Whooper. There is a picture but he does not quite match the Pokémon Mini’s color. For some reason I find this mysterious.

I only have one game for Pokémon Mini, called ‘Pokémon Mini Pokémon Party Mini’, so says the cartridge with the cheerful picture of Pikachu on it. The cartridge is the size of a large postage stamp and yet manages to fit the word “Pokémon” on it four times and “Nintendo” three. The unit itself has another 2 instances of the words Nintendo and Pokémon so you won’t forget for a second that this is Nintendo’s Pokémon Mini. This is all before powering it on.

Once powered on the system chimes in a friendly sort of way then reminds you several more times that it is a Nintendo product that involves Pokémon and is in fact mini. There is no mention that the system is a choking hazard. I am concerned.

Pokémon Party Mini consists of a rather slim selection of offerings: Pikachu’s Rocket Start, Slowking’s Judge, Chansey’s Dribble, Bellossom’s Dance, Hitmonchan’s Boxing, Sneesel’s Fake Out, Battlefield, and Celebi’s Clock. Several of these are multiplayer only which can be played against others using the built in IR on the top of the unit. Celebi’s Clock is in fact not even a game but is instead a clock and stopwatch application. I suppose this could be useful for practicing your sprints, cooking eggs, and all your other timing things needs. If you are ever in Seattle and want to go a round of Battlefield with your Pokémon Mini I will totally pwn you. Seriously. I’m like a Pokémon master.

Each game has a handy “how to play” section. Pikachu’s Rocket Start patiently explains that “when you feel a rumble press the button quickly to win”. Sounds easy enough. Round one starts me out against Rattata. The Pokémon Mini rumbles commandingly in my palm and I jam on the itty bitty blue buttons. Barely a second elapses before I see a screen that says “You Lose!” with a picture of a listlessly depressed emo Pikachu. The only thing that would complete the picture would be razor blades and a half drunk bottle of gin. I try another few times repeatedly losing to the Rattata bastard before successfully making it to round two which is against a Pokemon called Eevee. I am unfamiliar with Eevee and, after the shame and humiliation of being beaten by a creature whose name is a palindrome, decide to try my skill elsewhere.

I watch the instructions for Bellossom’s Dance which also involves waiting for the unit to rumble. When it rumbles, two of the Bellossom on screen will move and when it rumbles again you must mimic their dance moves with a third player controlled Bellossom. The twist is that in addition to using the + pad, if they jump you must shake the unit. This looks suspiciously like a girl game and I decide to move on to something manly like Chansey’s Dribble.

Turns out Chansey’s Dribble is a soccer game which involves simply kicking a soccer ball down an empty field to a goal area. The game does not tell me if I have won or lost but rather takes me to a results screen. Chansey is shown all smiles regardless of how poorly I do. I decide to test the theory and set the game down and discover that the game will in fact play itself. Chansey manages to finish in 54.341 seconds without my help and seems very proud of himself. I decide that Chansey must have been dropped on his head a few times on the way out of the egg. Strangely there is something compelling about the game and I find myself playing several times trying to shave fractions of a second off my time.

It’s starting to get genuinely late and I have decided that I really want to wrap up this blog entry because I have been in serious crunch time at work and specifically picked the Pokémon Mini because it would be quick and easy to write about. I had played it for a bit when I first got it and thought it was cute but did not pay it much mind. The weird thing is that even though the games are super simple they are quite fun and innovative. The system itself seems like a prototype for both the gameplay style of the Wario World influenced mini game collections and the use of the system is almost proto-Wii. The boxing game has you shake the system to punch and the judging game has you press buttons to repeatedly judge if a tennis ball is in or out of bounds. How does Nintendo do it? They take inferior technology and stupidly simple game design and manage to make it fun. Maybe the nearly vomit inducing adorableness of the Pokémon license is what does it for me? Maybe it is some nostalgic masochism for the chime of a videogame-cum-wristwatch? I don’t know.

Whatever the case, people have actually gone to the trouble to hack the system so that they can design their own games for it. Emulators have been made for it. Other people have actually given the system more than a passing glance. It seem like the appeal should be strictly limited to die hard Pokémon fans and obsessive collectors of cheap plastic toys. There is something more here, like some sort of kiss of kitsch and a flimsy earnestness that makes it something more. Maybe it’s just that it is small and cute.

Sonic the Hedgehog Handheld Roundup.

A true side by side comparison of handheld machines is often difficult. This is due to the fact that there are not many games that are on several systems. One of the few exceptions to the rule is Sonic the Hedgehog. Sonic is on so many platforms that it’s ridiculous. How the hell many times is the blue hedgehog going to have to go up against Dr. Robotnik? Read on for a partial count.

DS and PSP: The New

I have not played any of the Sonic games for the current generation of handhelds but as I understand they are quite decent. They share a lot of qualities that the GBA version has which almost puts them in a different category from the older handhelds. If for some reason you are actually here to get information before making a purchasing decision for a current gen handheld game, I would recommend Metacritic as a good place to start your research. If you want to know how Sonic compares on ‘classic’ handhelds, read on.

Game Boy Advance: The Awesome

Sonic Advance 2 was released in 2003 so Sonic is a little taller, a little more svelte, and much more sassy. He is the edgy Sonic. Some people might be turned off by the visual style, and ‘cool’ Sonictude, remembering the repeated failed attempts to both edgy up and bring Sonic into the realm of 3D gaming. This Sonic deserves a chance because, as I like to say, game-play is king. Even if you are turned off by the art style and the almost painfully self conscious attempts to make Sonic hip, give the game a chance. It is undeniable that his animation is excellent and he has a large move set which is set against some really nice art. It’s almost unfair to compare this Sonic to the original Sonic since they are so different in attitude. But strip away the attitude and some extra mechanics and there is a pure Sonic experience. This is Sonic at his best. Since it is compatible with anything from the GBA to the DS Lite there can be a bit of visual variation. Honestly it looks good on any of the platforms. The Micro and DS Lite screens are super bright so the colors really pop and are clear even at high speed. This Sonic is fast, hella fast, fast enough that there is a special move where he ‘breaks the sound barrier’ and can run across water. The level design is great, the visuals are great; this is an excellent game. If you like Sonic and have a system that can play GBA games, you should pick this up. I really have no caveats about this version of Sonic. It’s newer and it’s flashier but it is at the same time Sonic. Sonic with more bells and whistles which some fogies might not like but they should give it a chance. Beware though: don’t accidentally pick up Sonic The Hedgehog Genesis for GBA on accident. It is supposed to be awful.

Neo-Geo Pocket Color: The Good

The most needs to be said about Sonic on Neo-Geo because it is so similar to the original and yet has its own identity. Neo-Geo Pocket Color does not have a backlight however it is still a pretty fantastic handheld. It is 16 bit which should be the right amount of power for the classic side scrolling Sonic we know and love. I booted up my copy of Sonic the Hedgehog Pocket Adventure which came out in 99’. The Sega logo pops up and the familiar “Sega” sound byte precedes the title screen. The title screen has bright primary colors that pop as much as they can under proper light without any backlighting. The screen resolution is a bit low at 160x152 and the sprites have serious color limitations of a mere 4 colors per sprite. These limitations don’t hurt this port at all. As a matter of fact the limitations hurt none of the Neo-Geo Pocket Color games. The games are all perfectly designed for the system. In any case, Sonic only needs blue, red, white, and black and once Sonic is in motion you don’t even notice the low resolution. The game features Sonic solo for the bulk of the game perhaps to keep things fast. If that is the case, I applaud the developer. The game starts with the late 90’s sounding stage named Neo South Island which looks just like Green Hill Zone. Many of the stages have old school design but with newer sounding names. For example, Casino Zone becomes Cosmic Casino and Aquatic Zone becomes Aquatic Relix (if the game was made today the level would have undoubtedly been called Aquatic Relicz). The levels are generally well designed with a very original Sonic focus on speed for the bulk of the game. There is a distinct flavor to the game which makes it feel expansive with many paths for the player to follow. There are a couple exceptions such as the Sky Chase level which features a cameo by Tails who pilots a barnstormer type airplane which Sonic must ride on top of thru a side scrolling R-Type type level. These levels only slightly detract from the game and, if a bit unnecessary, do not hurt the game. This Sonic has a very basic move list consisting of just the power rev that was introduced in the second Sonic game on the Genesis. Once things get moving Sonic moves at just the right speed with no slowdown and no visible ghosting. The game is very enjoyable and is nearly flawless in its execution. The game does not feel cheap, there are not too many platforming sections that lead to instant death, the rings are a bit oversized to make them easy to see, and the enemy sprites look great. The boss battles follow the classic “find a way to hit the Dr. in the head” format but have a fair amount of variety. The sound is not great but the familiar Sonic tunes are all there. This is truly Sonic at the top of his game. It’s not quite the original but it is one of the best Sonics out there.

Sega Game Gear: The Bad

I took a look at both Sonic the Hedgehog and Sonic the Hedgehog 2 on the Game Gear. I’ll be clear up front: the negatives outweigh the positives on these. The game itself is solid enough but the Game Gear was not the right platform for Sonic. Sonic had to be on the Game Gear as he was the flagship character of the Sega Empire when the Game Gear was released. Unfortunately, the Game Gear can’t quite keep up with Sonic. Not in any processing way, no he moves along at full regular super sonic speed, but the screen! The screen has terrible ghosting which makes it very difficult to tell what is going on once Sonic gets sprinting. Add to this issue the fact that these are not straight ports and other issues creep up. Both of the Sonic the Hedgehog games on the Game Gear are only somewhat based off the originals on the Genesis but the feel is somehow quite different. Primarily, both of the games have a large amount of dangerous sections where a player moving at full speed will fall into a pit of spikes, lava, or a bottomless chasm. Perhaps this is a design decision to encourage players to play a bit slower or perhaps the designers merely wanted to be more similar to the Genesis sequels which tended to have a greater focus on platforming over the raw speed of the original Sonic. Regardless it is frustrating. Fortunately, at least in the first Sonic for Game Gear many of the spike pits have a bit of questionable collision and death can be avoided if they are hit at full tilt. The developer did at least make the sprites for both rings and enemies nice and large but it doesn’t really manage to make the games easy to play. A true Sonic fanatic might want to play these but in general these games are hampered by the hardware.

Game.com: The Ass

Sonic Jam is ass. Take everything bad I said about all the other versions of Sonic and they are worse in this version. Game.com tried to make the game appealing by having Sonic 2, Sonic 3, and Sonic and Knuckles in one package. Unfortunately they all suck. Here is the bad: the screen is hard to see and has awful ghosting, the game slows down terribly with more than a couple sprites on screen at once which, combined with the sluggish controls, makes things frustrating. If you wanted, you could easily count the frames of animation for the sprites of the main characters. The good: tails can fly by repeatedly pressing the jump button. This is kind of cool in a completely game breaking sort of way. I wish this was in a good Sonic game. Also the developer had the good sense to make the sprites absolutely huge so that they can be seen on the totally crappy Game.com screen. Bottom line, I have pooped better games in my sleep. The truly unfortunate thing is that it is possible that there could be a good game buried under all the technical limitations of the Game.com. I highly doubt it but can’t stand playing the game long enough to tell.

Sega Nomad: The Best!

Sega Nomad is your best option. Why? Because it is portable Sonic in its purest form. In case you don’t already know, the Nomad is the official portable Sega Genesis. Sure the Nomad has its faults: it eats batteries and does not have the best screen. However the Nomad can double as a Genesis and be hooked up to a TV and used with an external controller. The Genesis created Sonic and there is a reason it was shipped with the Genesis. Sonic was so good he could sell systems. Sonic on Genesis is what all other Sonic games must be measured against. And Nomad is the closest you can get without using a home console… Well, almost.

Zodiac, GP2X, and Your Cell phone: The Rest

Want to play Sonic on the go in its original form without owning a Nomad? There are options. I can’t speak to the quality of the versions of Sonic I have heard about for sale on the I-pod or Cell phone, but I understand they are pretty straight ports. There are also some VG Pocket and Onestation type options. These are funny little systems that come either preloaded with games or feature proprietary cartridges of dubious origin. I haven’t seen Sonic on these systems, but I have found the VG pocket and Onestation products to have very nice screens and generally nice hardware. The other option involves emulation. Unless you own the original cartridge and have checked your local laws, I cannot recommend this option. If you do own the cart and can legally back up your games, your few options include the Tapwave Zodiac (a gaming optimized PDA) or the GP2X. If you are going to go down this path I would recommend the GP2X as it has a strong homebrew community, runs Linux, a lovely backlit screen, and excellent controls. You could always hack your PSP but while Sony actively discourages homebrew, GP2X thrives on it.

An open letter to Pocket Gamer.

This week is an open letter to Pocket Gamer magazine followed by a brief historical timeline of Handheld Gaming.

Dear Pocket Gamer,

I picked up a copy of your magazine and very much enjoyed it however, as I reached the end of the magazine I noticed that something was missing. Though your magazine is called Pocket Gamer your coverage does not even make a nod to Classic Handheld Gaming. I checked out your website and found that indeed there are no articles about the subject. This I feel does a grave disservice to your readers. Handheld gaming has been around for almost 30 years and deserves recognition of it’s rich history.

I could forgive you for ignoring the Microvision and most handheld gaming from the 80s however one cannot ignore the importance and relevancy of the original Gameboy. The Gameboy created handheld gaming and by publishing Tetris helped define much of handheld gaming’s landscape even today. Without Tetris’ massive success it is quite easy to conjecture a world where Nintendo failed and went the way of Atari. Without Gameboy the puzzle genre might be a very different place. Without other companies trying to force Nintendo off it’s pedestal, Nintendo might have never innovated. Without Nintendo there would be no PSP.

Classic portables effect on what is happening now aside, classic portable gaming is fascinating. Whether it involves the hack work of Ben Heck or the many retrofits of the original Gameboy there is a rich interest in classic handheld gaming both as an aesthetic and as an experience. From the cultural impact of Pokemon to the tragic tale of Stefan Eriksson there are so many interesting stories about old school games.

Beyond historical consideration old school portable games are fun. I fondly remember playing Tetris on a borrowed Gameboy and years later being wowed playing Zelda on the Gameboy Color. Fighting games on the Neo-Geo Pocket Color are amazing for their perfect simplicity. Any game ever released on the Watura Supervision is befuddlingly bad. Old school game systems are funny and quirky and unique.

Please Pocket Gamer, consider giving some coverage to the game systems of yesteryear.

Best Wishes,
Sean Fear

1979

Milton Bradley releases the first cartridge-based handheld video game system MicroVision. Nothing much happens in portable gaming for the next 10 years.

1989

Nintendo releases the Game Boy system. It's boxy has a lousy screen and is ugly as hell but everyone loves it.

Tetris is arguably the most important handheld game ever. It is released for the Gameboy which sells like crazy.

Atari Lynx is the first color handheld video game system but it does not have Tetris and eats batteries. System will hang around for years wishing it found Tetris first.

1990

Sega releases the Game Gear in Japan.

Turbo Express is released which plays TG 16 carts.

1991

Europe and US get Game Gear.

Japan gets Parodius on the Gameboy, while US gets boring old R-Type.

1992

Watura Supervision is released along with games like Recycle Design and, Untouchable which perfectly describe the game system.

25 million Gameboys have been sold.

1993

Mega Duck & Cougar Boy game systems are released in Europe. US suffers from never receiving these systems.

Zelda first appears on a handheld.

1994

94 is a slow year in handheld gaming due to "Grunge". Only game released is "Stop That Roach!" on the Gameboy.

1995

Nintendo releases Virtual Boy. It's totally 3D! Gamers develop a collective migraine.

Game Axe is released which is a pirate handheld Famicom player. Thanks to NES on a chip technology spawns many imitators.

Sega Nomad released. Genesis heads now have excuse to lug their Genesis cartridge collection around with them. System only fits in duffle bags.

1996

Neo Geo Pocket is released in awesome black and white!

1997

Tiger Electronics releases game.com. Someone better have gotten fired!

Sega stops supporting Game Gear format.

1998

Nintendo releases Game Boy Color.

Sony PocketStation is a mem card and a portable game!

Pokemon invade the Gameboy and millions of parents have no idea what the hell their children are talking about.

Games are still being released for the Lynx. Lynx users are like "In your face Nintendo!"

1999

SNK totally copies Nintendo and releases Neo-Geo Pocket Color. Metal slug now fits in your pocket as well as some awesome fighting games.

2000

Wonderswan is released. A couple nerds want it to come out in the US but nobody cares about their needs.

Majesco re-releases the Game Gear. It is called Game Gear Core System.

Neo Geo Pocket releases another Metal slug game then gives up when GBA appears on the horizon.

2001

Nintendo releases the Game Boy Advance handheld system.

Advance Wars, Castlevania: Circle of the Moon, F-Zero, and others are released for GBA. GBA is looking good.

GP32 is released, only a few nerds care. Homebrewers rock.

2002

Wonderswan Crystal is even more beautiful than it’s predecessor. It has a great library of RPGs but all are in japanesse.

GBA gets Zelda and Metroid, bathes in the blood of defeated game systems.

2003

Nokia releases the N-Gage It’s a phone and a game system. Casual gamers don't care. Hardcore gamers care even less.

Puzzle Bobble VS is releases for N-Gage. This game should be impossible to do a bad version of but somehow manages to get an average score of 22%.

Tapwave releases the Zodiac, it's a PDA made for games.

Timetap releases Gameking, China throws a party.

Game Theory Admiral is released which plays famicom games. Nintendo does not seem to care.

Nintendo counters with GBA SP and all the other systems fail.

2004

N-Gage QD is released and still sucks, just not as badly, not nearly as bad as the Gizmondo which would have almost been ok if it was a cell phone and is released next year.

Leisure Suit Larry: Pocket Party is cancled. This is possibly the final nail in the failing N-Gage's coffin. The world breathes a sigh of relief as a game called "Pocket Party" will not be played in public.

Wonderswan stops getting games. Still none in English.

Nintendo releases the Nintendo DS, and Pokemon Mini. This duel strike knocks all other mo-fos out.

2005

Sony releases PSP and handhelds are finally legitimized.

Gizmondo is released, Sticky Balls makes gamers snicker, Colors is canceled and Erickson crashes his Enzo. The End!

EZ Mini is released.

Also released is the GP2X which makes the GP32 nerds screamgasm with delight.

Nintendo can't stop itself and releases a lite version of the GBA SP, and Gameboy micro.

2006

The Nintendo DS Lite ups the sex appeal of Nintendo. Handheld games have officially exploded. Girls, casual gamers, your parents, and jocks officially play video games and carry them around in their pockets.

OneStation brings probably illegal games to savy importers at low prices.

2007

PlayStation Portable Slim & Lite. The battle rages on.