Atari Lynx review

An amusing and insightful review of the Atari Lynx reviewed by TolstoyKafkaEvsky courtesy of YouTube. Check it out bellow.

Collection Overview.

Haven’t posted a picture of the current collection or any new units in a while so I thought I’d make a video of the collection. Bellow is a quick overview of the entire collection as well as a photo of the entire collection. I was encouraged by getting a subscriber on YouTube and decided I owed him at least one more video. If you enjoy the videos or prefer the writing let me know and I’ll try to include whatever you my most disloyal readers prefer.

An open letter to Pocket Gamer.

This week is an open letter to Pocket Gamer magazine followed by a brief historical timeline of Handheld Gaming.

Dear Pocket Gamer,

I picked up a copy of your magazine and very much enjoyed it however, as I reached the end of the magazine I noticed that something was missing. Though your magazine is called Pocket Gamer your coverage does not even make a nod to Classic Handheld Gaming. I checked out your website and found that indeed there are no articles about the subject. This I feel does a grave disservice to your readers. Handheld gaming has been around for almost 30 years and deserves recognition of it’s rich history.

I could forgive you for ignoring the Microvision and most handheld gaming from the 80s however one cannot ignore the importance and relevancy of the original Gameboy. The Gameboy created handheld gaming and by publishing Tetris helped define much of handheld gaming’s landscape even today. Without Tetris’ massive success it is quite easy to conjecture a world where Nintendo failed and went the way of Atari. Without Gameboy the puzzle genre might be a very different place. Without other companies trying to force Nintendo off it’s pedestal, Nintendo might have never innovated. Without Nintendo there would be no PSP.

Classic portables effect on what is happening now aside, classic portable gaming is fascinating. Whether it involves the hack work of Ben Heck or the many retrofits of the original Gameboy there is a rich interest in classic handheld gaming both as an aesthetic and as an experience. From the cultural impact of Pokemon to the tragic tale of Stefan Eriksson there are so many interesting stories about old school games.

Beyond historical consideration old school portable games are fun. I fondly remember playing Tetris on a borrowed Gameboy and years later being wowed playing Zelda on the Gameboy Color. Fighting games on the Neo-Geo Pocket Color are amazing for their perfect simplicity. Any game ever released on the Watura Supervision is befuddlingly bad. Old school game systems are funny and quirky and unique.

Please Pocket Gamer, consider giving some coverage to the game systems of yesteryear.

Best Wishes,
Sean Fear

1979

Milton Bradley releases the first cartridge-based handheld video game system MicroVision. Nothing much happens in portable gaming for the next 10 years.

1989

Nintendo releases the Game Boy system. It's boxy has a lousy screen and is ugly as hell but everyone loves it.

Tetris is arguably the most important handheld game ever. It is released for the Gameboy which sells like crazy.

Atari Lynx is the first color handheld video game system but it does not have Tetris and eats batteries. System will hang around for years wishing it found Tetris first.

1990

Sega releases the Game Gear in Japan.

Turbo Express is released which plays TG 16 carts.

1991

Europe and US get Game Gear.

Japan gets Parodius on the Gameboy, while US gets boring old R-Type.

1992

Watura Supervision is released along with games like Recycle Design and, Untouchable which perfectly describe the game system.

25 million Gameboys have been sold.

1993

Mega Duck & Cougar Boy game systems are released in Europe. US suffers from never receiving these systems.

Zelda first appears on a handheld.

1994

94 is a slow year in handheld gaming due to "Grunge". Only game released is "Stop That Roach!" on the Gameboy.

1995

Nintendo releases Virtual Boy. It's totally 3D! Gamers develop a collective migraine.

Game Axe is released which is a pirate handheld Famicom player. Thanks to NES on a chip technology spawns many imitators.

Sega Nomad released. Genesis heads now have excuse to lug their Genesis cartridge collection around with them. System only fits in duffle bags.

1996

Neo Geo Pocket is released in awesome black and white!

1997

Tiger Electronics releases game.com. Someone better have gotten fired!

Sega stops supporting Game Gear format.

1998

Nintendo releases Game Boy Color.

Sony PocketStation is a mem card and a portable game!

Pokemon invade the Gameboy and millions of parents have no idea what the hell their children are talking about.

Games are still being released for the Lynx. Lynx users are like "In your face Nintendo!"

1999

SNK totally copies Nintendo and releases Neo-Geo Pocket Color. Metal slug now fits in your pocket as well as some awesome fighting games.

2000

Wonderswan is released. A couple nerds want it to come out in the US but nobody cares about their needs.

Majesco re-releases the Game Gear. It is called Game Gear Core System.

Neo Geo Pocket releases another Metal slug game then gives up when GBA appears on the horizon.

2001

Nintendo releases the Game Boy Advance handheld system.

Advance Wars, Castlevania: Circle of the Moon, F-Zero, and others are released for GBA. GBA is looking good.

GP32 is released, only a few nerds care. Homebrewers rock.

2002

Wonderswan Crystal is even more beautiful than it’s predecessor. It has a great library of RPGs but all are in japanesse.

GBA gets Zelda and Metroid, bathes in the blood of defeated game systems.

2003

Nokia releases the N-Gage It’s a phone and a game system. Casual gamers don't care. Hardcore gamers care even less.

Puzzle Bobble VS is releases for N-Gage. This game should be impossible to do a bad version of but somehow manages to get an average score of 22%.

Tapwave releases the Zodiac, it's a PDA made for games.

Timetap releases Gameking, China throws a party.

Game Theory Admiral is released which plays famicom games. Nintendo does not seem to care.

Nintendo counters with GBA SP and all the other systems fail.

2004

N-Gage QD is released and still sucks, just not as badly, not nearly as bad as the Gizmondo which would have almost been ok if it was a cell phone and is released next year.

Leisure Suit Larry: Pocket Party is cancled. This is possibly the final nail in the failing N-Gage's coffin. The world breathes a sigh of relief as a game called "Pocket Party" will not be played in public.

Wonderswan stops getting games. Still none in English.

Nintendo releases the Nintendo DS, and Pokemon Mini. This duel strike knocks all other mo-fos out.

2005

Sony releases PSP and handhelds are finally legitimized.

Gizmondo is released, Sticky Balls makes gamers snicker, Colors is canceled and Erickson crashes his Enzo. The End!

EZ Mini is released.

Also released is the GP2X which makes the GP32 nerds screamgasm with delight.

Nintendo can't stop itself and releases a lite version of the GBA SP, and Gameboy micro.

2006

The Nintendo DS Lite ups the sex appeal of Nintendo. Handheld games have officially exploded. Girls, casual gamers, your parents, and jocks officially play video games and carry them around in their pockets.

OneStation brings probably illegal games to savy importers at low prices.

2007

PlayStation Portable Slim & Lite. The battle rages on.

Gauntlet the Third Encounter: WTF?

OMG, Gauntlet the Third Encounter for Atari Lynx may be the best game ever! This game has something for everyone. First just take a look at the Character roster. There is Wizard, Android, PunkRocker, Pirate, Gunfighter, Valkyrie, Nerd, and Samuri. This is a much better line up than the arcade version of the game that featured the tres’ boring lineup of Thor the Warrior, Merlin the Wizard, Thyra the Valkyrie and, Questor the Elf. The line up is like the members some sort of Village People super group cover band. When playing the game I inevitably momentarily consider the Android. With a speed of 24, strength of 7 and missile of 9 he seemed like a pretty good choice. Then I snap to my senses. The Nerd takes effing androids apart in his sleep! Sure the Nerd may not be as fast as the mighty Valkyrie, whose blazing speed of 40 allows the Valkyrie to compete on an Olympic level in track and field. Nor does the Nerd have the massive firepower of the Gunslinger or the strength of the powerful Samurai. No, the Nerd has something that the game just doesn’t have stats for: smarts. This is unfortunate because obviously a lot of points would have been spent on his smarts to make up for his otherwise lousy stats.

A typical game goes something like this...

I, as Nerd, enter the field of battle gripping a red bound book that presumably is a manual for MS-DOS. This is 1990 folks, this is not some sissy 2000s Nerd but an honest to god wedgie hardened 1980s style Revenge of the Nerds Nerd. I think about nicknaming him Gilbert but then decide that Nerd is a better and more apt nickname. The game does not explain why Nerd has agreed to descend into the dungeon so I decide that he is going to rescue his hero Bill Gates so that they can bring the world Windows 3.0. Things are getting off to a good start. I look to the right and see an apple. Sweet, Nerds totally like to be the teacher’s pet. This will be perfect to bribe teacher! I move towards it and in a window at the bottom left hand corner of the screen the apple is totally in 3D! Holy crap the graphics are intense. As I approach the apple, it gets bigger! I am totally going to be teachers pet. I grab the apple, a spooky skeleton key, and a scroll of invisibility. Sweet, Nerd will have no problem reading this with his high intelligence. Now it’s time to kick some ass! I move thru a locked door and am off wandering around the level looking for some enemies to let loose on. Suddenly the lower left corner of the screen shows a scorpion! I hate scorpions! They are totally creepy. I tried to find an article about how creepy they are but Wikapedia just had a bunch of objective facts about them and not some good knee jerk scare tactics about how evil they are. Level one is coming along pretty well, scorpions are pretty scary enemies. I am hoping for Nazis on level two. After killing a bunch of scorpions I start looking for their little spawning hut but I can’t find it. What the hell why aren’t more scorpions appearing? Did I kill them all? I still have thousands of HP. I am disgruntled until I notice a PC in the middle of a room. I walk up to it and the box on the bottom screen shows a close-up of the computer with scrolling text “Welcome explorers you seek the star gem but death more likely waits you.” Star gem? No no, I am here to save Bill, I implore the computer. This is serious so I go find some more scorpions to stomp while I consider this new information.

The skeleton keys are very mysterious. I wonder if the Pirate was already here. Maybe the Pirate already took the star gem? Damn it, if I had started out as the Pirate I’d already have the star gem and be drinking mojitos with Bill by now.

The obvious choice is of course to continue downward toward this “star gem” so I take the exit and find myself on a level with ghosts. I am a bit disappointed that there are no Nazis, who are always the best enemies, but content myself with the fact that the Ghost is one of the Classic Gauntlet enemies. The classic enemies are Ghost, Grunt, Demon, Lobber, Sorcerer, thief, and my personal favorite enemy, Death, who you might remember from such movies as Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey. This level is chock full of green pots full of gold.

Green pots of gold! This leads me to believe that the monster roster includes Leprechauns. I make a point to keep my eye out for them. I saw part of the Leprechaun movie so I know just how evil the little bastards can be. I wish I was armed with more than a MS-DOS manual and realize I have no idea what my missiles are made of. Book pages? Brain waves? Based upon my experiences at work, I conjecture that it must be some Nerf-based weapon.

I get so excited about the gold that I accidentally use my Invisibility Scroll. For a Nerd I feel awfully effing stupid. Just as the stupidity is wearing off I realize that the pots of leprechaun gold I have been picking up are filling up my inventory and I cannot pick up any more Pirate keys. I immediately begin plotting some way to get out of the dungeon with all the gold. What the hell?!? Why does the game give me all this gold that I can’t carry? Fucking Leprechauns! Screw this level, I’m going to find the star gem.

Level 3! Whoot! Gauntlet the Third Encounter is totally mixing it up. The enemies here are Ghosts AND Scorpions. I am just getting comfortable with two enemies on a level when all the sudden a fireball bashes into me. It’s a Jawa. I am not even joking here. There is a Jawa that shoots fireballs in Gauntlet the Third Encounter. And suddenly I am dead… Where was the warning? Red Booked Nerd is about to die! Why didn’t you warn me Gauntlet?! For that matter, Gauntlet didn’t say jack to me the entire time I was playing. I hate this game!

The game zoomed in dramatically on my skeleton and displayed my score of 7480. Stupid Gauntlet.