Attack of the Famiclones

Famiclones, game consoles that play 8 bit Famicom (Japanese Nintendo) games, are so freaking sweet. There are many Famiclones on the market though the selection of portable Famiclones is a rather smaller selection. When comparing portable Famiclones several different considerations must be made. These include availability, quality, genuineness of experience, and possibly the ability to play NES games.

First of all it bears mention that it is quite possible to emulate a Famicom with several different non Famiclone handheld options. These are not true Famiclones since even though they can run Famicom and NES ROMs they do not use the original cartridges. All the options that can run Famicom ROMS can also run NES ROMs, as the only differences between Famicom and NES games are the size of the carts and the pin layouts. They include PDAs such as the gaming optimized Tapwave Zodiac, I Phone, some cell phones, GP32, hacked PSP, or my personal favorite, the open source GP2X. All the listed options should, in general, be capable of emulating the NES/Famicom without too much trouble and software is available for all the above options. A key disadvantage (or advantage if cartridges are not your thing) of these options is that the games are not played off of original cartridges. Quality will vary by available emulators, screen quality, and control schemes. The issue of control schemes is perhaps the biggest consideration when looking at these options for use as Famicom/NES emulators. Since a consumer is not likely to purchase any of the above options primarily as a Famicom/NES emulator the primary use will likely dictate which product is obtained. Few of the multi use options are going to have great control schemes. If you want to use your cell phone you’ll need one with at least 246k RAM, a decent processor, and probably some way to attach it to your computer. The high profile cell phone that is getting a lot of independent developer support and development right now is the I-Phone. If you are a gadget nerd this is the obvious choice since it has the functionality of a PDA, internet browser, and MP3/video player. If you are looking for a dedicated classic gaming platform you can largely avoid the poor control scheme issue by purchasing a more dedicated device. Again I am going to recommend the GP2X. Though GP2X has not been featured here there is plenty of information available online.

The only recommendable “emulation free” option that does not require original Famicom carts is the Onestation. The Onestation is a Chinese cartridge based system that runs real Famicom/NES games on their own proprietary cartridge based system. It has great controls and a truly fantastic screen. The only disadvantage of the Onestation is a smaller available library of games though the available library includes both Japanese and US releases.

As far as availability goes the rarest Famiclone portables are in the category of NES Mods. An NES Mod of the portable variety is a hand made portable NES that is generally made with a NOAC (NES on a chip) and some sort of portable LCD packed into some form of custom case. These are some of the best and worst Famiclones since, depending on components used and craftsmanship, they can be far better and far worse than any commercially available Famiclone. The king of hardware mods is Benjamin J. Heckendorn who has made many different portable game systems from scratch. NES Mods are generally one of a kind creations and are therefore very rare. The advantage of the systems is that there are many options to obtain the needed NOAC, screen, controls and cases to make your own. Another positive is that it can be built to accept NES games without an adapter. The negative is of course that you have to actually build said machine. Unless you have time, patience, and skill you should probably simply buy a portable Famiclone.

The first portable Famiclone was the Top Guy. It allegedly ran off of six D batteries and lasted about an hour. Top Guys are apparently about as rare as the yeti. I don’t really need to write much about this unit because neither you nor I will likely ever see one and most information is from blurry pictures and hearsay.

Slightly less rare is the Game Axe. This unit takes 6 AA batteries and was considered the best portable Famicom available for quite a while. The likelihood of you seeing one of these is about as likely as seeing a Zetland (half Zebra half Shetland Pony) in the wild. I am seeking both a Top Guy and Game Axe for my collection however they do not seem to become available very often. If by some chance you have one of either unit you are willing to part with or know how to get one please contact me.

This narrows the field to systems that are actually somewhat more likely for you or me to actually see.

There are a couple true Famiclone options that are add-ons for other established Nintendo systems. These include the Cyber Famulator which is an add on for the Nintendo DS as well as the Handy Famieight which attaches to the GBA or may be used with external controllers and attached to a television. Neither of these options is ideal as they add considerable bulk to already full sized handheld systems and, at least in the case of the Handy Famieight, have cheap enough feeling construction to hamper the experience. An advantage of the Handy Famieight is that, with some care, it is possible to use a NES to Famicom adapter with included external controllers and play NES games on your Tee Vee.

This leaves a few viable options which include the FC Mobile, Pocketfami, and Game Theory Admiral. The negative of all these systems is that none of them a quality screen. They do otherwise rate fairly well in availability, quality, and genuineness of experience. The lesser of the 3 options is the Game Theory Admiral. The GTA has a lower quality screen and stiffer, less responsive feeling controls than the other two options but the biggest negative is the way that the cartridge attaches to the unit. The slot on the top of the GTA fits no known game cartridges but instead fits a type of “game spatula” that attaches to the core unit and has the standard Famicom attachment on the end of it. This means that unless the Famicom cart fits very firmly it is pretty easy to unseat the carts during play. The unit is very funny, quirky, and last I checked, still available new from a seller on Amazon. Though the GTA does not appear to be being manufactured anymore it is quite inexpensive new, though as it becomes harder to find it will likely increase in price. The FC Mobile and Pocketfami are very comparable with a few differences that will make them more or less desirable depending on what an end user desires from the system.

The FC Mobile is a slightly better choice as a handheld. The screen quality is just a tad better and the controls, particularly the + pad feel much better. The design of the unit is understated with all black except for a couple of chrome accents around the speakers. The button layout is top notch except for the fact that the reset button sits just bellow and to the left of the A and B buttons. I did not find the reset button’s location problematic but there is a higher chance of an accidental press than with the Pocketfami. There is both a headphone jack as well as an A/V out jack that allows you to play on your Tee-Vee or with headphones. I have not found any incompatibility issues with any carts though I am sure some must exist.

The Pocketfami has a slightly lower quality screen and a + pad that does not feel quite as good but has some other features that make it otherwise desirable. Firstly the reset button is up above the + pad where it will not be accidentally pressed and in addition to the A and B buttons Pocketfami has AA and BB buttons that act as turbo buttons. The color scheme of the Pocketfami stays true to the original Famicom with a crème and deep red casing which in the unlikely event that you grew up with a Famicom will undoubtedly increase the nostalgia value. The worthwhile additions to the Pocketfami are the inclusion of TV out, AC/DC in, and 2 controller ports. This makes playing NES games on a Tee-Vee with controllers and the use of a Famicom to NES adaptor possible. I got my copy of Super Mario Bros. 3 to run pretty well with a minimum of graphical strangeness. I am not sure about the availability of controllers for the system as they do not have same pin lay out as any Nintendo controllers. I happened to have a couple compatible controllers that are used with the Handy Famieight.

In the final analysis the top three recommended options are:

1. FC Mobile, with fewer options than some other Famiclones, it offers a pure experience and has controls and a design that just feels nice. The screen is not of the best quality but is the best of the units that play Famicom games. It is only really practical for use with Famicom carts as a NES cart with an adaptor will stick very far out of the game slot.

2. Onestation, very small, quite inexpensive, with great controls and an excellent screen. System lacks access to the full library of games which is the biggest negative.

3. GP2X, can be a bit expensive, has excellent controls, a quality screen, and can run SNES, Scumm, MAME, Genesis, and other types of games in addition to NES and Famicom games thru emulation. It is not the best system to just pick up and play as it takes around 20 seconds just to boot up.

One Station, Digital Crystal Panel: You can play Mappy!

Mappy is a mouse who dresses as a police officer, enters hotels, and “retrieves stolen goods”. I’m not sure that he is an actual police officer. If he is I’m fairly sure he is a crooked cop.

Allow me to back up a bit. One Station Digital Crystal Panel is potentially one of the most awesome handhelds ever. There are several reasons for this. The controls are tight and responsive. The price is quite reasonable and the system is still available new. The games are spot on versions of classic games. The system is really small, not much larger than a Gameboy Micro. Best of all, the screen is totally awesome. I could go on and on about the screen. The screen is one of the best screens of any handheld. The advertised specs for the screen are a LCD resolution of: 960px x 240px, with 26000 colors per pixel. In layman’s terms it looks simply awesome. There are negatives. The main negative is the library of games. Strangely however, game selection is also one of the system’s strengths. As an example, my favorite game cartridge is called 8B35-A Pocket Big Soft Max 35 in 1. It has the following games on it:

01. Boukenjima 2

02. Double Dragon 2

03. Super Contra

04. Code Name Viper

05. Super Chinese

06. 8 Eyes

07. Burai Fighter

08. Family J

09. Toki No Kagi Densetsu

10. Battle City

11. Donkey Kong Jr

12. Galaga

13. Toobin

14. Super Mario Bros

15. 1942

16. Pac-Man

17. Alien 3

18. Lode Runner

19. Circus Charlie

20. Donkey Kong

21. MAPPY!!!!!!!!!!

22. Mario Bros

23. Pinball

24. Road Fighter

25. Recca

26. Yie Ar Kung-Fu

27. Balloon Fight

28. Bomber Man

29. Xevious

30. Golf

31. Pooyan

32. Popeye

33. Gurume World

34. World Cup Soccer

35. Super Sprint

On one cartridge!

The system is called One Station because every cart follows the naming convention of “# in one”. This is pretty freeking awesome. Unfortunately many carts have several of the same games on them. Super Contra, Donkey Kong and the original Mario show up on several different carts. Other carts are full of crap you have never heard of before. Some of these unknowns are quite good like Binary Land or Cattou Ninden (Having no knowledge of Japanese I have translated the name to “Super Ninja Cat Team Go!”). I am kind of torn between 8B35-A Pocket Big Soft Max 35 in 1 and Classical Big Soft Max Pocket 34 in 1 8BJD34 which has pictures of the Ninja Turtles on it as my favorite. Classical Big Soft Max Pocket 34 in 1 8BJD34 has some awesome games including Ninja Turtles 2, Mega Man 5, Ninja Gaiden, Shadow of the Ninja, Mappy and 29 more awesome games. I’m not sure exactly why I prefer 8B35-A Pocket Big Soft Max 35 in 1 over Classical Big Soft Max Pocket 34 in 1 8BJD34. I do know why my favorite is not 35 in 1 VS Power. Though 35 in 1 VS Power does have, Shatterhand, Snow Bros, Excite Bike, and Cattou Ninden it does not have Mappy and is therefore inferior. Maybe I just like 8B35-A Pocket Big Soft Max 35 in 1 better because it has more games or maybe it is because of the weird game selection screen for Classical Big Soft Max Pocket 34 in 1 8BJD34 which features cows, turns me off. What do cows have to do with Ninja Turtles? In any case the game I play the most on the One Station is Mappy.

The plot of Mappy, as best as I can tell, follows. There is a chain of hotels that are run by a cadre of cats called the Mewkies. The manager of the Mewkies hotel chain is a rotund cat named Goro. He is a fun loving cat and a fair boss. Sure he looks a bit like Brando and nobody can ever quite understand what he is saying but he is basically a good guy. One day Mappy the mouse shows up demanding that the stolen goods be returned.

“I’m calling in your effing ticket and you are going to pay what you owe.” Mappy threatens.

Goro, confused, claims that there are no stolen goods. Mappy in his most Eastwood like manner drops the nice guy ruse and repeatedly slams Goro’s face into a door handle in a display of violence so shocking it is usually reserved for a Cohen brother’s films. Goro, blood soaked*, manages to crawl to a hiding spot behind one of his many copies of the Mona Lisa. While Goro, panicked, scurries from hiding place to hiding place, the hotel staff made up of Mewkies attempt to stop Mappy from marauding their hotels. Mappy’s objects of desire are pairs of valuable objects littered about the hotels. They are always in pairs. This is one of Goro’s many eccentricities that there must be two of any object in every hotel. These objects include the previously mentioned copies of the Mona Lisa, boom-boxes, tee-vees, computers, and safes. There are no customers at the hotels though this is quite unsurprising since the hotels have no stairs. Goro is quite mad, having more in common with the Island of Doctor Moreau Brando then the Godfather Brando and had the architects build his hotels to very specific specs.

Speaking of specs, the specs of the One Station has been the object of some scrutiny on the interwebs. Apparently the One Station is nothing but the screen, a few buttons, a speaker and a place for the batteries. The cartridges have, not only the games, but the entire systems on them. I love whoever first manufactured NOAC (Nintendo on a chip). Because of NOAC there are all sorts of Fami-clones, which are systems that play original 8 bit Nintendo or Famicom games. Several of them are handheld like the Handy Fami Eight, and they in general play full original Famicom cartridges or take no carts at all. One Station is unique in this respect. It takes the special carts. There were rumblings of flashable carts but these never materialized, perhaps due to the relative obscurity of the system. So the One Station owner is limited to the games available. That means no super Mario 2 or 3, no Dragon Quest or Final Fantasy, no Yoshie’s Cookie or Dr. Mario. Many of the best games are simply not available on the One Station. Mappy however is.

Each hotel has trampolines to get from floor to floor, bell-towers, and special floors with trap doors. The trampolines have a strange deficiency that they can only be jumped on 3 times consecutively before they break and sends customers tumbling to their deaths in Goro’s special snake pits of death**. Once Mappy has successively “repossessed” all the safes and art from a hotel he goes on to the next hotel. Some hotels are special hotel filled with extra trampolines and lots of balloons. Mappy gets a reward of points for each balloon he collects. Most of the balloons are worth 200 points but in every level there is a super balloon that Goro has hidden inside worth 2000 points. I’m not sure if the points are given by Goro, the police force or, are simply some invented point system that Mappy has created himself but it is strange. If Mappy collects two of the same item consecutively, the point value of the second matching item gets a multiplier. A careful Mappy can get up to 8500 points per level this way. Mappy can also get points for finding Goro as he is hiding. If Goro is caught hiding he bribes Mappy with 1000 points so Mappy will not beat him more. The Strange thing is that if any of the Mewkies including Goro catch Mappy he rolls over. Mappy slams doors in faces, drops bells on heads, and triggers trap doors to defeat the Mewkies however, once caught by one of the kitties he gives up. Mappy use your fucking gun! At least smack them with your nightstick.

In short One Station is awesome, it has AV out, a great screen, fits in your pocket, and is reasonably priced at less than $40. In addition Mappy is awesome, it has cats and trampolines. I’ll admit that 90% of my info about the game is pure conjecture. Regardless I stand by my observations about the game. If my made up stuff about Mappy does not convince you consider this. There are 256 levels in Mappy. 256 levels of cat themed mouse cop action which is awesome even if Mappy won’t use his gun.

* Mappy the game has no blood.

** Mappy the game has no snake pits of death either.

Sonic the Hedgehog Handheld Roundup.

A true side by side comparison of handheld machines is often difficult. This is due to the fact that there are not many games that are on several systems. One of the few exceptions to the rule is Sonic the Hedgehog. Sonic is on so many platforms that it’s ridiculous. How the hell many times is the blue hedgehog going to have to go up against Dr. Robotnik? Read on for a partial count.

DS and PSP: The New

I have not played any of the Sonic games for the current generation of handhelds but as I understand they are quite decent. They share a lot of qualities that the GBA version has which almost puts them in a different category from the older handhelds. If for some reason you are actually here to get information before making a purchasing decision for a current gen handheld game, I would recommend Metacritic as a good place to start your research. If you want to know how Sonic compares on ‘classic’ handhelds, read on.

Game Boy Advance: The Awesome

Sonic Advance 2 was released in 2003 so Sonic is a little taller, a little more svelte, and much more sassy. He is the edgy Sonic. Some people might be turned off by the visual style, and ‘cool’ Sonictude, remembering the repeated failed attempts to both edgy up and bring Sonic into the realm of 3D gaming. This Sonic deserves a chance because, as I like to say, game-play is king. Even if you are turned off by the art style and the almost painfully self conscious attempts to make Sonic hip, give the game a chance. It is undeniable that his animation is excellent and he has a large move set which is set against some really nice art. It’s almost unfair to compare this Sonic to the original Sonic since they are so different in attitude. But strip away the attitude and some extra mechanics and there is a pure Sonic experience. This is Sonic at his best. Since it is compatible with anything from the GBA to the DS Lite there can be a bit of visual variation. Honestly it looks good on any of the platforms. The Micro and DS Lite screens are super bright so the colors really pop and are clear even at high speed. This Sonic is fast, hella fast, fast enough that there is a special move where he ‘breaks the sound barrier’ and can run across water. The level design is great, the visuals are great; this is an excellent game. If you like Sonic and have a system that can play GBA games, you should pick this up. I really have no caveats about this version of Sonic. It’s newer and it’s flashier but it is at the same time Sonic. Sonic with more bells and whistles which some fogies might not like but they should give it a chance. Beware though: don’t accidentally pick up Sonic The Hedgehog Genesis for GBA on accident. It is supposed to be awful.

Neo-Geo Pocket Color: The Good

The most needs to be said about Sonic on Neo-Geo because it is so similar to the original and yet has its own identity. Neo-Geo Pocket Color does not have a backlight however it is still a pretty fantastic handheld. It is 16 bit which should be the right amount of power for the classic side scrolling Sonic we know and love. I booted up my copy of Sonic the Hedgehog Pocket Adventure which came out in 99’. The Sega logo pops up and the familiar “Sega” sound byte precedes the title screen. The title screen has bright primary colors that pop as much as they can under proper light without any backlighting. The screen resolution is a bit low at 160x152 and the sprites have serious color limitations of a mere 4 colors per sprite. These limitations don’t hurt this port at all. As a matter of fact the limitations hurt none of the Neo-Geo Pocket Color games. The games are all perfectly designed for the system. In any case, Sonic only needs blue, red, white, and black and once Sonic is in motion you don’t even notice the low resolution. The game features Sonic solo for the bulk of the game perhaps to keep things fast. If that is the case, I applaud the developer. The game starts with the late 90’s sounding stage named Neo South Island which looks just like Green Hill Zone. Many of the stages have old school design but with newer sounding names. For example, Casino Zone becomes Cosmic Casino and Aquatic Zone becomes Aquatic Relix (if the game was made today the level would have undoubtedly been called Aquatic Relicz). The levels are generally well designed with a very original Sonic focus on speed for the bulk of the game. There is a distinct flavor to the game which makes it feel expansive with many paths for the player to follow. There are a couple exceptions such as the Sky Chase level which features a cameo by Tails who pilots a barnstormer type airplane which Sonic must ride on top of thru a side scrolling R-Type type level. These levels only slightly detract from the game and, if a bit unnecessary, do not hurt the game. This Sonic has a very basic move list consisting of just the power rev that was introduced in the second Sonic game on the Genesis. Once things get moving Sonic moves at just the right speed with no slowdown and no visible ghosting. The game is very enjoyable and is nearly flawless in its execution. The game does not feel cheap, there are not too many platforming sections that lead to instant death, the rings are a bit oversized to make them easy to see, and the enemy sprites look great. The boss battles follow the classic “find a way to hit the Dr. in the head” format but have a fair amount of variety. The sound is not great but the familiar Sonic tunes are all there. This is truly Sonic at the top of his game. It’s not quite the original but it is one of the best Sonics out there.

Sega Game Gear: The Bad

I took a look at both Sonic the Hedgehog and Sonic the Hedgehog 2 on the Game Gear. I’ll be clear up front: the negatives outweigh the positives on these. The game itself is solid enough but the Game Gear was not the right platform for Sonic. Sonic had to be on the Game Gear as he was the flagship character of the Sega Empire when the Game Gear was released. Unfortunately, the Game Gear can’t quite keep up with Sonic. Not in any processing way, no he moves along at full regular super sonic speed, but the screen! The screen has terrible ghosting which makes it very difficult to tell what is going on once Sonic gets sprinting. Add to this issue the fact that these are not straight ports and other issues creep up. Both of the Sonic the Hedgehog games on the Game Gear are only somewhat based off the originals on the Genesis but the feel is somehow quite different. Primarily, both of the games have a large amount of dangerous sections where a player moving at full speed will fall into a pit of spikes, lava, or a bottomless chasm. Perhaps this is a design decision to encourage players to play a bit slower or perhaps the designers merely wanted to be more similar to the Genesis sequels which tended to have a greater focus on platforming over the raw speed of the original Sonic. Regardless it is frustrating. Fortunately, at least in the first Sonic for Game Gear many of the spike pits have a bit of questionable collision and death can be avoided if they are hit at full tilt. The developer did at least make the sprites for both rings and enemies nice and large but it doesn’t really manage to make the games easy to play. A true Sonic fanatic might want to play these but in general these games are hampered by the hardware.

Game.com: The Ass

Sonic Jam is ass. Take everything bad I said about all the other versions of Sonic and they are worse in this version. Game.com tried to make the game appealing by having Sonic 2, Sonic 3, and Sonic and Knuckles in one package. Unfortunately they all suck. Here is the bad: the screen is hard to see and has awful ghosting, the game slows down terribly with more than a couple sprites on screen at once which, combined with the sluggish controls, makes things frustrating. If you wanted, you could easily count the frames of animation for the sprites of the main characters. The good: tails can fly by repeatedly pressing the jump button. This is kind of cool in a completely game breaking sort of way. I wish this was in a good Sonic game. Also the developer had the good sense to make the sprites absolutely huge so that they can be seen on the totally crappy Game.com screen. Bottom line, I have pooped better games in my sleep. The truly unfortunate thing is that it is possible that there could be a good game buried under all the technical limitations of the Game.com. I highly doubt it but can’t stand playing the game long enough to tell.

Sega Nomad: The Best!

Sega Nomad is your best option. Why? Because it is portable Sonic in its purest form. In case you don’t already know, the Nomad is the official portable Sega Genesis. Sure the Nomad has its faults: it eats batteries and does not have the best screen. However the Nomad can double as a Genesis and be hooked up to a TV and used with an external controller. The Genesis created Sonic and there is a reason it was shipped with the Genesis. Sonic was so good he could sell systems. Sonic on Genesis is what all other Sonic games must be measured against. And Nomad is the closest you can get without using a home console… Well, almost.

Zodiac, GP2X, and Your Cell phone: The Rest

Want to play Sonic on the go in its original form without owning a Nomad? There are options. I can’t speak to the quality of the versions of Sonic I have heard about for sale on the I-pod or Cell phone, but I understand they are pretty straight ports. There are also some VG Pocket and Onestation type options. These are funny little systems that come either preloaded with games or feature proprietary cartridges of dubious origin. I haven’t seen Sonic on these systems, but I have found the VG pocket and Onestation products to have very nice screens and generally nice hardware. The other option involves emulation. Unless you own the original cartridge and have checked your local laws, I cannot recommend this option. If you do own the cart and can legally back up your games, your few options include the Tapwave Zodiac (a gaming optimized PDA) or the GP2X. If you are going to go down this path I would recommend the GP2X as it has a strong homebrew community, runs Linux, a lovely backlit screen, and excellent controls. You could always hack your PSP but while Sony actively discourages homebrew, GP2X thrives on it.

An open letter to Pocket Gamer.

This week is an open letter to Pocket Gamer magazine followed by a brief historical timeline of Handheld Gaming.

Dear Pocket Gamer,

I picked up a copy of your magazine and very much enjoyed it however, as I reached the end of the magazine I noticed that something was missing. Though your magazine is called Pocket Gamer your coverage does not even make a nod to Classic Handheld Gaming. I checked out your website and found that indeed there are no articles about the subject. This I feel does a grave disservice to your readers. Handheld gaming has been around for almost 30 years and deserves recognition of it’s rich history.

I could forgive you for ignoring the Microvision and most handheld gaming from the 80s however one cannot ignore the importance and relevancy of the original Gameboy. The Gameboy created handheld gaming and by publishing Tetris helped define much of handheld gaming’s landscape even today. Without Tetris’ massive success it is quite easy to conjecture a world where Nintendo failed and went the way of Atari. Without Gameboy the puzzle genre might be a very different place. Without other companies trying to force Nintendo off it’s pedestal, Nintendo might have never innovated. Without Nintendo there would be no PSP.

Classic portables effect on what is happening now aside, classic portable gaming is fascinating. Whether it involves the hack work of Ben Heck or the many retrofits of the original Gameboy there is a rich interest in classic handheld gaming both as an aesthetic and as an experience. From the cultural impact of Pokemon to the tragic tale of Stefan Eriksson there are so many interesting stories about old school games.

Beyond historical consideration old school portable games are fun. I fondly remember playing Tetris on a borrowed Gameboy and years later being wowed playing Zelda on the Gameboy Color. Fighting games on the Neo-Geo Pocket Color are amazing for their perfect simplicity. Any game ever released on the Watura Supervision is befuddlingly bad. Old school game systems are funny and quirky and unique.

Please Pocket Gamer, consider giving some coverage to the game systems of yesteryear.

Best Wishes,
Sean Fear

1979

Milton Bradley releases the first cartridge-based handheld video game system MicroVision. Nothing much happens in portable gaming for the next 10 years.

1989

Nintendo releases the Game Boy system. It's boxy has a lousy screen and is ugly as hell but everyone loves it.

Tetris is arguably the most important handheld game ever. It is released for the Gameboy which sells like crazy.

Atari Lynx is the first color handheld video game system but it does not have Tetris and eats batteries. System will hang around for years wishing it found Tetris first.

1990

Sega releases the Game Gear in Japan.

Turbo Express is released which plays TG 16 carts.

1991

Europe and US get Game Gear.

Japan gets Parodius on the Gameboy, while US gets boring old R-Type.

1992

Watura Supervision is released along with games like Recycle Design and, Untouchable which perfectly describe the game system.

25 million Gameboys have been sold.

1993

Mega Duck & Cougar Boy game systems are released in Europe. US suffers from never receiving these systems.

Zelda first appears on a handheld.

1994

94 is a slow year in handheld gaming due to "Grunge". Only game released is "Stop That Roach!" on the Gameboy.

1995

Nintendo releases Virtual Boy. It's totally 3D! Gamers develop a collective migraine.

Game Axe is released which is a pirate handheld Famicom player. Thanks to NES on a chip technology spawns many imitators.

Sega Nomad released. Genesis heads now have excuse to lug their Genesis cartridge collection around with them. System only fits in duffle bags.

1996

Neo Geo Pocket is released in awesome black and white!

1997

Tiger Electronics releases game.com. Someone better have gotten fired!

Sega stops supporting Game Gear format.

1998

Nintendo releases Game Boy Color.

Sony PocketStation is a mem card and a portable game!

Pokemon invade the Gameboy and millions of parents have no idea what the hell their children are talking about.

Games are still being released for the Lynx. Lynx users are like "In your face Nintendo!"

1999

SNK totally copies Nintendo and releases Neo-Geo Pocket Color. Metal slug now fits in your pocket as well as some awesome fighting games.

2000

Wonderswan is released. A couple nerds want it to come out in the US but nobody cares about their needs.

Majesco re-releases the Game Gear. It is called Game Gear Core System.

Neo Geo Pocket releases another Metal slug game then gives up when GBA appears on the horizon.

2001

Nintendo releases the Game Boy Advance handheld system.

Advance Wars, Castlevania: Circle of the Moon, F-Zero, and others are released for GBA. GBA is looking good.

GP32 is released, only a few nerds care. Homebrewers rock.

2002

Wonderswan Crystal is even more beautiful than it’s predecessor. It has a great library of RPGs but all are in japanesse.

GBA gets Zelda and Metroid, bathes in the blood of defeated game systems.

2003

Nokia releases the N-Gage It’s a phone and a game system. Casual gamers don't care. Hardcore gamers care even less.

Puzzle Bobble VS is releases for N-Gage. This game should be impossible to do a bad version of but somehow manages to get an average score of 22%.

Tapwave releases the Zodiac, it's a PDA made for games.

Timetap releases Gameking, China throws a party.

Game Theory Admiral is released which plays famicom games. Nintendo does not seem to care.

Nintendo counters with GBA SP and all the other systems fail.

2004

N-Gage QD is released and still sucks, just not as badly, not nearly as bad as the Gizmondo which would have almost been ok if it was a cell phone and is released next year.

Leisure Suit Larry: Pocket Party is cancled. This is possibly the final nail in the failing N-Gage's coffin. The world breathes a sigh of relief as a game called "Pocket Party" will not be played in public.

Wonderswan stops getting games. Still none in English.

Nintendo releases the Nintendo DS, and Pokemon Mini. This duel strike knocks all other mo-fos out.

2005

Sony releases PSP and handhelds are finally legitimized.

Gizmondo is released, Sticky Balls makes gamers snicker, Colors is canceled and Erickson crashes his Enzo. The End!

EZ Mini is released.

Also released is the GP2X which makes the GP32 nerds screamgasm with delight.

Nintendo can't stop itself and releases a lite version of the GBA SP, and Gameboy micro.

2006

The Nintendo DS Lite ups the sex appeal of Nintendo. Handheld games have officially exploded. Girls, casual gamers, your parents, and jocks officially play video games and carry them around in their pockets.

OneStation brings probably illegal games to savy importers at low prices.

2007

PlayStation Portable Slim & Lite. The battle rages on.