GBA SP: Official Member of the Special Player Club

I decided to get the review for the GBA SP out of the way this week. The GBA SP for the uninitiated is the flip screen version of the Gameboy Advance which has been featured here previously. The selection of units that can play GBA games is rather diverse which makes reviewing the unit a bit different. While many handheld games are only available on one or two systems, Nintendo games are frequently available on dozens of different systems. Therefore the system can’t be judged just by itself but needs to be compared to the other systems that play GBA games. I’ll be straight here: if the GBA SP was the only system to play GBA games on it would be aces. Bellow is a short list of boss games that were released on the GBA.

In alphabetical order, a handful of games you should play that were released for the GBA: Advance Wars, Advance Wars 2: Black Hole Rising, Astro Boy: Omega Factor, Castlevania: Aria of Sorrow, Castlevania: Circle of the Moon, Castlevania: Harmony of Dissonance, Final Fantasy Tactics Advance, Fire Emblem, Fire Emblem: The Sacred Stones, Gunstar Super Heroes, Kirby & the Amazing Mirror, The Lost Vikings, Metal Slug Advance, Metroid Fusion, Super Mario Advance 2, Super Mario Advance 4, TMNT, WarioWare, Inc.: Mega Microgame$, and WarioWare: Twisted! You very well might already have a system to play these games, be it a Gamecube with adaptor, Nintendo DS, or any of the other GBA systems. If so, you are set; the GBA SP is not for you (unless you plan to purchase a Handy Famieight).

I just found out that the “SP” in GBA SP means “Special Player”. It reminds me for some reason of a scene from the 1995 cult classic “Welcome to the Dollhouse”. Dawn Weiner, an awkward 7^th grader, has a crush on the older attractive Steve Rodgers and invites him to become a member of the “Special People Club”. The following exchange happens.

Steve Rodgers: Special people?

Dawn Weiner: Yeah.

Steve Rodgers: Do you know what "special people" means?

Dawn Weiner: What?

Steve Rodgers: Special people equals retarded. Your club is for retards.

There are a few “special” features that are unique to the GBA SP. The first is the closely spaced buttons. This is not a huge deficit but the buttons are very close together and make playing with man-hands a bit cramping. Compared to all other GBA compatible systems the control layout is the weakest. I realize that with the size and otherwise excellent flip top design there is no real way around the button positioning but it’s still unfortunate.

The second negative is that there is no headphone jack. You have to use an adaptor that fits into the power jack to use headphones. Really Nintendo, there was not enough room to cram a headphone jack in there somewhere? This is again a rather small complaint but it reminds me of the following scene from “Welcome to the Dollhouse”. Dawn confronts a classmate about why she is disliked.

Dawn Weiner: Why do you hate me?

Lolita: Because you're ugly.

The otherwise excellent SP is simply the least attractive of the GBA family. It is a proto DS which was a proto DS Lite. It will never achieve the tacky loveableness of the earlier Nintendo handhelds or the i-cool of the DS Lite. Another strike is that the original GBA SP had a rather sub par front lit screen that when compared to the Nintendo DS Lite, Gameboy Micro, or even the original DS, is simply ugly. There is a version of the SP that was released later that has a much better screen that has a model number of AGS-101. If you want to save a few bucks and can find one in good condition you might consider an AGS-101. The weird thing is that if you can find the AGS-101 new it will most likely cost more then a new DS Lite.

Soon Nintendo will release a newer more portable slightly improved system that will play DS games and will likely drop GBA functionality which will force me to reconsider the place of the GBA SP. This is what Nintendo does: iterate on a system until it is about as good as it’s going to get. Until that day consider the scores below before purchase or check out the comments section for a second opinion.

Scores:

Screen: 7-9/10 The original SP has a front lit screen that can be turned on or off. It is useable in near dark with the light on or in bright light with the light off. It is hard not to compare the screen quality with the DS Lite or Gameboy Micro. Fortunately the AGS-101 model has back lighting. The original should be avoided unless it can be picked up cheap.

Sound: 7/10 Has one speaker that sounds decent enough. System has no headphone jack and requires an adaptor to use headphones. This is stoopid!

Controls: 8/10 Great controls but a little close together. Probably great for children and gnomes. The controller is classic Nintendo.

Availability: 8/10 Available new online or used at your local EB or Gamestop.

Price: 5/10 Anywhere between $50 used and $160 new. When you can get a DS Lite for $129 the SP begins to lose its luster. If you can snag an AGS-101 model in good condition for less then $50 and don’t want to own a DS, this is a good system.

Library: 10/10 All the Gameboy, Gameboy Color and GBA games. Fanfuckingtastic library!

Overall: 6-9/10 The AGS-101 model is a great system. The front lit unit is not so good especially since the DS Lite and Gameboy Micro are both better systems that can play GBA games.

Mid-Week Links:

From my friend and Tipster Chad, a blurb from Yahoo about the book “Grand Theft Childhood”.
http://us.i1.yimg.com/videogames.yahoo.com/feature/video-games-turn-kids-into-killers-not-so-says-new-book/1212550

A game that is even better than Animal Soccer World? Who would believe such a thing is possible!?
http://www.snotr.com/video/774

Pokemon MMO? Surely a sign of the end times.
http://www.cubed3.com/news/10049

VG Pocket Tablet: Featuring Stuntman Daredevil!

Seattle is having some majorly awesome weather so I really would rather be outside working on my sun burn and flying kites rather than inside writing about handheld games. To anyone that does not have a kite and is considering a handheld gaming purchase I recommend you instead consider a dual line power foil kite. For a bit more then the price of a PSP game you can get a 1.2 Snapshot Kite from Prism. If however you hate beautiful weather and yourself, you might instead consider the VG Pocket Tablet. The VG Series of portable game machines include the VG Pocket Tablet, VG Pocket Caplet, and VG Pocket Suppository, all of which advertise extended time released relief for all day gaming needs.

The VG Pocket Tablet really does seem promising upon initial inspection. It does not take carts but instead comes pre loaded with 25 games. It is small and sturdy feeling with a very interesting over the counter medicine inspired design. It is kind of like a giant aspirin, with buttons. The buttons and switches feel nice and springy and/or switchy. Once the needed 3 AAA buttons are loaded the unit feels just heavy enough to bean someone without breaking the unit. Once powered on, the main screen has a very cool retro modern look: “VG” in stylized pixilated letters and “POCKET” in all caps in what looks vaguely like Bank Gothic MD BT font with "Portable gaming device" written underneath. Press either the A or B buttons and another title screen appears with a picture that looks like it could be very well lifted from a classic Frogger arcade cabinet. The screen declares: “FROGGER 25 GAMES Frogger® and Konami® are trademarks of Konami Digital Entertainment Co. Ltd.(c)2006”. None of the other 24 games have anything to do with Konami.

Frogger appears to be a perfect port of the arcade version of Frogger from 1981. If you don’t know Frogger play it here http://www.froggyville.com/frogger.htm or watch the video from Mega64.com below. If you absolutely love Frogger and only Frogger, this is the system for you. If you would like to play games other than Frogger you might reconsider.

Besides Frogger the system has such awesomely named games as Mr. Onion, Whack the Critter, and Stuntman Daredevil. The names of the games are like what a 3rd grader might come up with. I don’t think the names adequately describe the games so I came up with my own names for them. Below is a complete list of games as well as my alternate names.

Frogger AKA Frogger

Funny Fungi AKA Press B 3 Times to Lose Game (Seriously it is that easy.)

Lord of the Jewels AKA Michael Flatley's Lord of the Jewels (This is actually a decent clone of a classic NES puzzle game Magic Jewelry.)

Leaper the Frog AKA Leaper the Suicidal Frog (Game play involves plummeting toward the bottom of the screen but not too fast or you die.)

Mutant Hunt AKA Super Shitty Xevious

Off Roader AKA In This Game You Race on a Road Asshat!

Sudoku Quiz AKA Sudoku Quiz IV: Revenge of the Sodoku Master and the 7 Fists of Doom (This could be fun if you like Sodoku?)

Risk It! AKA Boring Hotel (I was expecting a Risk clone and was sorely disappointed.)

Stellar Attack AKA R-Gradius: Attack of the Defender Clone

Battle Blocks AKA Breakernoid

Construction Jack AKA Link’s Masonry Training

Memory Matching AKA Nietzsche’s Cultural Nihilism, and Oppositional Politics the Game

Track Star AKA Track and I wish I was flying my Prism 3 dual line power foil kite.

River Quest AKA Go Go Go to the Right!

Star Alley AKA 1942… in Space

Motorcross Racer AKA I swear I’m playing Road Rash so why won’t the attack button work?

Pinball Labyrinth AKA WTF?

Billiards AKA 6 Ball WTF?

Vitamania AKA Suppositorymania

Mr. Onion AKA Kirby’s Handgun

Delivery Express AKA Self Loathing, the minimum wage job simulator

Birds of Prey AKA Arnold Schwarzenegger VS the Spotted Owl

Whack the Critter AKA Whack the Critter (I suppose you could call this Caddyshack the Game but honestly the name is perfect.)

Stuntman Daredevil AKA Daredevil Stuntman (Game is played entirely with one button.)

Delta Fighter AKA Star Alley

The games range from horribly unplayable to sub-par clones of popular games to merely questionable. The best of the games make me wish I was playing the game that the Tablet version was cribbed off of. As an example the very familiar Stellar Attack AKA R-Gradius: Attack of the Defender Clone which is just like R-type or Gradius but not as fun. There are some fascinating selections, not because they are particularly good but because they are funny.

In Stuntman Daredevil you must press the A button to fill up a speed gauge, when you let go and your Daredevil Stuntman car rushes up a ramp and thru the air where it must land in a safe area the exact size of the Stuntman Daredevil car. That is provided that you don’t press A too quickly or your car will crawl slowly up the ramp. Use the brake Stuntman Daredevil! Also, couldn’t team Daredevil Stuntman clear the landing area a little better? These ‘stunts’ are just foolhardy. The game is actually a bit enjoyable in the way that a Wario Ware mini game is fun. The best thing about it is the name. Like if you named a game Pugilist Boxer or Outlaw Bandit.

Another personal favorite is Arnold Schwarzenegger VS the Spotted Owl. Arnold is in Dutch Tahiti (I am only guessing but there is both a windmill and some straw huts in the background) armed with a high powered rifle. He is given the job of ridding Dutch Tahiti of the invasive non-native species, the spotted owl, which is overrunning the islands. Kill enough and you get to kill more; fail and the word “FAIL” appears and you are required to kill more. Die, spotted owl, die!

In short Everything is good about the system except for the most important thing, the games.

Scores:

Screen: 10/10 Quite bright with no noticeable ghosting, great resolution colors really pop. I wish this screen was on a different system.

Sound: 7/10 Has one speaker that sounds decent enough but does not get very loud. System has no headphone jack but does have an AV out.

Controls: 7/10 Controls pad and buttons feel responsive but are crammed together so your hands have to be very close together.

Availability: 6/10 Available used online but generally overpriced.

Price: 1-6/10 Anywhere between $10 and $60 on E-bay depending on how insane people are feeling. Totally worth $5, if you like Frogger, or really bad games.

Library: 1/10 Frogger and 24 of the shittiest games known to man.

Overall: 5/10 Since the only game worth playing is Frogger. You need to ask yourself, how much do I love Frogger? If the answer is, “I break into a sweat at the very thought of the game” or, “I am trying to popularize the term ‘Amphiby’ with my cosplay group”, the system might be right for

Mid-Week Link

Just one link this week for the Jerks who come to the page and immediatly leave cause they just want to play Mappy, not read about Mappy. Happy now?

http://www.nintendo8.com/game/115/mappy/

Now you can click thru rather than bounce away... Jerkface.

Quick survey... I've noticed that people seem to stay on the page longer if I hate whatever it is I am writing about and drop a few F-bombs. For serious do you my readers really rejoice in my suffering?

FC Mobile USA!

I went on at some length a couple weeks ago about portable Famiclones, comparing and contrasting the various units available. Famiclones are pretty cool but also are pretty useless to a US consumer because people in the US play NES games not Famicom games. Famicom is for the Japanese, not God-fearing Americans. Americans don’t play Famicom. Unless, of course, they are some sort of hentai-loving, Japan-obsessed, commie-freak-weirdo-fanboy! Real Americans are all like, “Go back to Tokyo before I bludgeon you to death with an Xbox controller!” I personally have a weakness for Asics and cartoons that feature anatomically correct raccoons, which makes me a borderline Japanophile. Additionally, my half-brother is half Japanese which I figure makes me at least ¼ Japanese.

I received my NES version of the FC Mobile in the mail this last week. The unit is effing awesome. Admittedly, the awesomeness is boosted by the fact that FC Mobile is the only easily available option for playing NES games off carts in mobile form. Thank you the Chinese for thinking of the West and fixing the FC Mobile to play NES games. One thing that a western consumer will want to make sure of before the purchase an FC Mobile is that they are in fact getting a NES unit. The Chinese originally thought that it would be enough to just release a Famicom version of the FC Mobile. That’s just crazy, the Chinese! Fortunately they realized the folly of not releasing an NES capable FC Mobile. Buyer Beware: there are FC Mobile on the market that play Famicom games. Fortunately it appears that units noted online as being NES capable are indeed the NES versions of the FC Mobile.

The US version has a couple small differences from the original FC Mobile that are mostly cosmetic. While the original FC Mobile came in black, the US version comes in either white and red or black and silver. I am a bit stumped about why they did not release it in gray and dark gray to match the original NES. Another small detail is the company name “Hyperkin” replacing the “FC Mobile” text which is printed under the screen on the original FC Mobile. I have been unable to determine if Hyperkin is a new company that has bought FC Mobile or if it is considered more western then the FC Mobile branding. Hyperkin sounds like the brand name of something from the 80s which might be intentional. If the unit changed color based upon the skin temperature of the user then the branding, design, and functionality of the unit would hang together perfectly.

The less superficial differences are few. The slot on top is wider and the 60-pin Famicom connector has been replaced by a bigger, better, more American 72-pin NES connector. The one unfortunate design flaw that the NES version has that the Famicom version does not is that the A and B buttons have been switched so that they are backwards. DAMN YOU HYPERKIN! Really though, this is by no means a crippling defect. Damning people for relatively small slights just seems like the right thing to do…you know, as an American. It is curious that the buttons were switched. Perhaps the buttons of the Famicom are in an opposite configuration of the NES and switching the buttons was needed to make the unit possible with as few hardware changes as possible? Unfortunately the reset button was not moved.

I was a bit concerned with how far the cartridges stick out of the unit and tried a shake test by inserting Super Mario Bros. 3 and shaking the unit rapidly. Surprisingly the cart did not unseat. There is something really cool about having the cartridge art right in front of you while playing the games. Even a crap fest like Renegade is somewhat palatable when you can view the rocking box art.

As with the Famicom version, the screen is not the best but is bright with no noticeable ghosting. The resolution of the screen is a bit poor but does not negatively affect gameplay. There is a headphone jack as well as an A/V out jack that allow you to play on your Tee-Vee or with headphones. The controls feel responsive and fairly true to the classic NES controller.

Now back to GTA IV Super Mario Bros. 3

Scores:

Screen: 7/10 Decent brightness and no ghosting however the resolution is low and screen quality is generally low.

Sound: 8/10 Has two speakers that sounds decent except at high volume, has a headphone jack. Classic 8 bit sound.

Controls: 8/10 Controls feel right. Would get 10/10 if the A and B buttons were in the correct configuration.

Availability: 9 Still available new online.

Price: 9/10 Still can be found online for under $40.

Library: 10/10 Plays NES games. Probably has some incompatibility issues but have yet to encounter any.

Overall: 9/10 About as small as a handheld that plays NES carts could be. Games tested run at full speed with no problems. Takes three AA batteries and even though the instructions say not to use rechargeable batteries they seem to work fine. Score would be lower except that the unit is the best commercial way to portably play NES games off carts.

Mid-Week Links: Now with 50% more GTA!

Says Tipster Chad…

I think it's the 6th paragraph down, the one that begins with, "The game..." How could this apply to future video game development? Is there a valid market for games that "make you
smarter".

Interesting thing to ponder. With the selection of “brain training” games available on the NDS my guess is yes. The question might be how are we going to use games to make us smarter and are companies going to use proven “edutainment” methods for their learning games?

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/04/29/health/research/29brai.html?no_interstitial

Rick Roll Mario Paint style.

Chris sent another link this time to Will “Wesley Crusher” Wheaton on GTA. Will is an excellent writer and his blog is worth a read.

http://wilwheaton.typepad.com/wwdnbackup/2008/04/regarding-gta-i.html

And more endless ranting about GTA…

“[The Sega Nomad is] heaven's last, best gift, my ever new delight.” --Milton

I previously declared that the Sega Nomad is the best handheld for playing Sonic the Hedgehog. I believe that my exact words were “Sega Nomad: The Best!”. While I stand by my assertion that Nomad offers the purest Sonic experience, I feel a need to fess up that my level of truthiness may have been colored by my enthusiasm for the most ‘genuine’ Sonic experience. In defense, I ask, what exactly does “Sega Nomad: The Best!” even mean?

In 1989 Sega released the 16 bit Sega Genesis in North America. This was in an era when the 8 bit Nintendo was arguably the most powerful console in existence. Sega Genesis was able to compete with the NES due to its superior processing power and blow the TurboGrafx out of the water with a clearly superior library of games. The much more awesome SNES would not be released for 2 years, in 1991. By that time Sega was so entrenched in the TV rooms of American consumers that it managed to stay in the console game for over a decade despite hardware blunder after hardware blunder (I’m in the market for a Treamcast if you have one to part with). In 1990 Sega was at the top of their game. Had the Nomad been released in 1990 the world may have been a very different place.

In 1995 the San Francisco 49ers became the first NFL franchise to win five Super Bowls, the Oklahoma City bombing killed 168 people, O.J. Simpson was found not guilty of double homicide, and Sony released the 32 bit Playstation. Imagine a world where none of these things had happened because Sega had released the Nomad a few years earlier. Instead Sega did wait for 1995 to release the Sega Nomad and U.S. President Bill Clinton signed the National Highway Designation Act, which ended the federal 55 mph speed limit. Unfortunately this was at the end of the Genesis’ life and the by then the Nomad, much like the wandering Nomadis of Arabia, had no home. Can the Nomad be fairly called “The Best!”? Let’s investigate.

For this review I played a bit of Columns, Star Control, Sonic the Hedgehog, and Flashback.

Columns for the Nomad looks quite good on the Nomad’s 3.25 inch color LCD screen. Columns is a classic match 3 puzzle game in the vein of Tetris and is played with falling sets of crystals that fall on a flat 2D plane. There is a bit of ghosting when the crystals fall at high speed but otherwise there are no problems playing. Performance of the game is, as all games on the Nomad are, Genesis perfect. Columns had classic game-play when it was released. It is a timeless casual game that was released before the idea of a casual gamer was even thought of. I could play the game for hours on end so I intentionally stop myself after a couple minutes and put in Star Control.

Star Control is an awesome game which states that it is “THE FIRST 12 MEGABIT GAME!” right on the box. That’s like twice as many megabits as a 6 megabit game! Star Control offers arguably the deepest strategic game-play on the Genesis along with some excellent space combat. The combat takes place on a large flat plane with two spacecraft going head to head. It’s a bit like Asteroids but much more deep. This is a place were Nomad stumbles. Though the 320 × 224 resolution looks pretty sharp for most games (an NDS screen had a resolution of 256 x 192 at a slightly smaller 3 inches) it does not suffice when the sprites for some of the ships are small even on a full sized television. Star Control is rendered practically unplayable on the Nomad. I must admit, I intentionally chose Star Control to bring up one of the weaknesses of the Nomad. A portion of the games for Genesis were designed with a larger display in mind. Fortunately the Nomad has an AV out and these games can be enjoyed on an external display without a hitch.

The fact that the Nomad has nearly all the functionality of a full sized Genesis is one of its saving graces. The user can use a DC adaptor instead of six AA batteries which last only a few hours. The unit has a controller 2 input so that a second player can play, presumably while using the AV out cable. The addition of a first player controller input would have made the unit nearly perfect since the Nomad is freaking huge. It’s a bit smaller then the paperback edition of the 4^th Harry Potter Book. It feels about twice as big as an original Xbox controller. It probably is difficult for small children to use and though portable is not something I’d ever want to carry around with me on a regular basis.

This leads up to Sonic on the Nomad. Sonic on the Genesis is the definitive edition. The sprites are large enough on the Nomad but there is a problem that plagues many older handheld systems and is almost a game breaker with Sonic on the Nomad. Ghosting is quite pronounced when playing Sonic on the Nomad. The backgrounds seem to have the rather popular motion blur effect that is used in many racing games these days. This is not by design. Some enemies will blur enough that they become quite difficult to see at all. The bright colors, fun game-play, and responsive controls save the game.

Lastly I played a small amount of Flashback. Flashback looks beautiful on the Nomad. The game is not only fun but is pretty much a tech demo on how to create a beautiful game on the Genesis. It and its spiritual prequel Out of this World used rotoscoped characters to create fluid and cinematic animation and cut-scenes. The game is rather punishingly difficult but is perfect for the Nomad. The small screen makes the graphics look even better then they do on a larger display. The controls which I have not even mentioned until now, duplicate the feel of the Genesis 6 button controller. The issue of ghosting is minimal due to the pacing of the game, the use of static backgrounds, and the speed at which the characters move. All in all Flashback is perfect on the Nomad.

The Nomad is not a very practical portable but is a great classic gaming console and a fun piece of gaming history.

Scores:

Screen: 5/10 Brightness control present and works, decent resolution but hurt by ghosting.

Sound: 8/10 Has one speaker that sounds pretty good as well as a headphone jack. Classic 16 bit sound.

Controls: 9/10 Almost identical to the Genesis controller. Would earn an additional point if the unit was smaller and offered a first player controller port.

Availability: 5-7/10 Easy enough to find used but generally pretty beat up. Replacement screens may still be bought online.

Price: 8/10 Still can be found used online for ~$50.

Library: 10/10 Plays all Genesis games.

Overall: 7/10 Bulky with a less than perfect screen and poor portability the Nomad is a cool piece of history that doubles as a Genesis. Really only for the collector but still a decent piece of hardware if you don’t plan on using it as a portable gaming platform.

Congratulations Marivic!

A winner has been selected for the I am Handheld branding contest. Marivic from Seattle. W00t!!one!!eleven! She writes…

“…Some background about my approach. I collaged the picture of you and some print outs I found online. I mounted the pieces onto graph paper and colored in the arms and legs of the hand held "team" and added action lines. I then took a picture of the piece with my Nikon D80 using a 50mm f1.8 lens and added the "iamhandheld" title using Resevoir Grunge font (underlined)… …and I thought that this quote from your blog helps my art:

"If I could wish one thing for my anthropomorphic hand held gaming machines it would be this. I would wish that each one of them could stand up and be counted."

…Now they can!...

Handheld devices bring joy to the player, but I also see this as the reverse - that handheld games like being played.”


I personally could do without the terrible picture of myself but I think that I am Handheld has a new mascot. Most excellent! Marivic will receive a VG Pocket Caplet. Thanks for all your entries and be on the lookout for the next I am Handheld give away soon.